I think there are times in everyone's lives when we just get a little bit fed up - even if we're where we're meant to be and everything's going relatively swimmingly. As usual, I mean me.
Now, I want to avoid sounding absolutely infuriating right from the start, here. I know I'm no longer in Dublin. I know I'm back at home, the place I was desperate to return to for the last third of 2011. Believe me, I'm happy about that. I don't have to live with strangers any more. I'm home with the ones I love and I'm so much happier.
It's just one of those days where I need things to get going - and I don't mean this in a negative sense. I have a point, I promise!
Each day I apply for a handful of jobs. I haven't heard a single thing back from anybody yet. I'm getting bored. I have very little patience, and I really want to get back into some kind of routine. I miss studying, and every day I regret ever taking this gap year. I could easily sink into a spludgy puddle of self-pity, being the self-confessed grump that I often am.
But I find, in these situations, that it's incredibly helpful to make a list (an actual, ink and paper type fandango) of all the things I've got going for me; all the things I have to look forward to or be grateful for.
I'm doing a show with my dad, my uncle and a large number of luvvie-type friends, and we start rehearsals tomorrow. I've managed to finish my short story for the LessThanThree Project, and I'm fairly proud of what I created and the fact that I pushed myself to actually do it in the first place. Some of my friends still live locally, so we can go for coffee or practice singing or act like morons, depending on which friend it is... I have a place waiting for me at my first choice University, to do a course that I'm thoroughly excited to begin. I'm going on holiday with my parents to somewhere lovely and hot, right by the sea. I have my amazing internet friends that I can talk to at any hour with the click of a mouse.
I'm so fortunate, and each time I get all mopey and stupid, which I do a lot, I try and run through this list in my head - occasionally teaming it with a self-inflicted slap 'round the face - and most of the time, it really helps me. Sometimes it doesn't - there are days when I wallow shamelessly in my miseries, cowering under my duvet, eating rubbish and pretending I don't know what soap is. But most of the time, corny as it sounds, I just try and remember what I've got. Because it's about time I started being grateful for it all.
And when all else fails, I come and have a little rant on here. See? I feel better now! ;oP
Until next time,
lessthanthree
