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Aspiring writer, avid reader and cat enthusiast.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Smiles.

HELLO!

Stuff's good.

I've met some new people, I've made some plans, I've done my nails and I'm having a Bruno Mars fest. I'm more cheerful than I've ever been in this country. Bring on the next two months.

That's all.

peaceoutgirlscout.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Deep breath.

I've been a bit of a zombie since I got back to Dublin.

I don't think I wanted to accept that I've got to get on with the next two months and get through them - going home was amazing but it put me at a false start and now I've got to just get a grip, stand up, be brave and get through this.

Today is the first day I've felt any hint of motivation to write or create something - the things that I usually enjoy to do on a daily basis. But in the past few days, all I've wanted to do is sleep - I suppose because whilst I'm asleep I'm not really here. But this can't go on! I need to actually make use of my time here, and throw my rather stereotypically angsty teenage emotions at something constructive. So tomorrow morning, I'm going into the city, and I'll look around for maybe some craft materials, or something to use in my next video, or a big fat book, and stop moping around doing nothing. I need to snap out of this now, or the days will just drag on forever.

My foureigndames video this week was pitiful - I just could NOT be bothered. I'm surprised that I even posted one, because I waited all day to do it, and I knew I couldn't do my challenge any justice, and my webcam refuses to co-operate with unnatural light, which is why I always vlog in the daytime. But that's the last of the pointless videos - from now on, I'm going to make an effort every single day to create something (whether it be a vlog, a blog, a passage in my own novel or a craft) that's worth sharing with you. It'll also give me something to talk about aside from this temporarily humdrum day-to-day life of mine. Sigh. Right. ENOUGH!

BIG SMILE!

I'm going to let some light into this room, get showered and dressed, and go and DO STUFF. And then I'll be able to come back and talk about it, and feel a bit more positive. I hope you all have a happy and productive day. :)

lessthanthree


Days 'til I go home: 63

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

M'off 'ome.

So here's a mishmashkaboodle [What do you mean, SpellCheck? Of COURSE that's a real word!] of what's occurin' in my life at the moment.

I go home for the weekend the day after tomorrow. That means tomorrow I can say I'M GOING HOME TOMORROW. I am so stoked. I'm flying home on Friday at 6pm, and should land at five to seven. My dear grandma and unofficial chauffeur is picking me up from the airport (with her being the first loved one I'll have seen in almost two months, I may knock her over in excitement) and whizzing me straight to Frankie and Benny's for a meal with my friends. Probably not whizzing though. My gran's kinda slow at driving. So yeah, then it's friends and food from eight thirty - and I just know we're going to have such a laugh. It's a reunion for pretty much everyone, seeing as they've all been off doing their own thing. Most of my friends are at Uni, it's really just me and my best friend Jesamine that are the odd ones out (though some say we're just odd), with me sodding off overseas and her setting up an illustrating business. (Jesamine's thing is cool. Mine involves wiping noses and bottoms etc. Sigh.) So it'll be awesome to see the old gang again. It's kind of sad in a way though, because I know a few people aren't going to be able to make it due to distance (we're spread as far afield as Cambridge and Northampton) and that's a rather ominous foreshadowing of how little we're going to see each other over the next four years or so. But it's my firm belief that if we're determined enough, we'll stay as close as we ever were. And there's always those golden days of summer...

After dinner with my friends I'll be zooming home (HOME! FINALLY!!!!) in a good old taxi cab, and bouncing around, making a mess in my room for old times' sake and waiting very impatiently for my mum and dad to get home from the theatre. They're both in a stage adaptation of Open All Hours at the moment, with my dad playing the lead. How come my parents and my best friend do cool stuff and I wipe arses for a living? But I digress. I'll be home, and we'll be reunited, and it shall be AWESOME. Saturday night I'm going to the theatre with my family to see my parents' play - this is why I booked this weekend home, by the way - and breeze around in the theatre bar afterwards with good old Yorkshire people for a change.

Sunday (not that I want to think about Sunday yet; I don't really want it to get here) I'll be having a meal out with my parents and then heading back to the dreaded airport to get going on another two months here in Oirland. I'll just try to keep in mind that after THEY'RE over with, I'll be home for good, thank goodness.

Alors. That's a little plan of my next few days for you... I'm going to enjoy myself, take loads of photos and videos and not use the internet for the entire weekend - so that's where I'll be. :D
Tomorrow I'll be tidying my room and gathering together the stuff I need for Friday (my memory's like a sieve, I swear) so I'll see you on Monday probably. Which I hope doesn't come for a long long time!

Peaceoutgirlscout.

Sunday, October 09, 2011

Close-mindedness.

I have a very hard time understanding close-mindedness.

In the very early hours of this morning, I was scrolling through my Twitter timeline and was heartbroken to read that Harry Moseley, the 11 year old boy with an inoperable brain tumour, who has campaigned tirelessly to raise over £500,000 for Cancer Research UK's brain tumour research, has died.

As the world woke up to the news of the loss of this brave little boy, I saw hundreds upon hundreds of kind messages to Harry's family - complete strangers reaching out to his parents, to support them through their grief. This outpouring of affection for one little boy was to be expected; Harry is widely known for his bravery and selflessness, and his campaign, Help Harry Help Others.

What I didn't expect, though, was to see something like this.


Once again, I encounter with absolute horror and disbelief, the twisted opinions of the Westboro Baptist Church.

A few years ago, being somewhat naive about the type of people that exist in this world, I found the website "God Hates Fags", and honestly thought it was a joke. I was well aware of homophobia, but I didn't honestly think that communities such as the WBC, with their persistent use of offensive vernacular, actually existed. I was wrong. This is prejudice at the absolute extreme, and I physically cannot stand it.

My discovery of the Westboro Baptist Church opened my eyes to just how extreme close-mindedness can be - but even after realising this, I would never, ever have expected these people to use the death of a little boy to once again force their opinions on the rest of the world.

I could steam on and on for a lifetime about how furious the WBC makes me, and get all worked up, and start swearing and insulting them and cursing them to the hell in which they think the rest of the world belongs. Because I honestly can't comprehend this kind of cruelty. But a part of me thinks that an angry response is just what they're looking for.

So instead I respond calmly. Instead of spending my time like the WBC choose to, screaming hatred at everyone they meet, I'd rather have a laugh with my friends. Read an old favourite book. Sit down to Christmas dinner with my family. Wear one of Harry Moseley's bracelets with pride. Take pleasure from all the things in life that the WBC will never understand: kindness, love, compassion. My life is about my family and friends; I want to be with them and I want for all of us to be happy, and that's what matters most to me.

I feel sorry for the WBC, because they spend their lives pushing the rest of the world away and building their lives on hate. 

Harry Moseley was a bright, kind and determined little boy, who fought the dark with the light and filled people with hope. WBC fight blindly in the dark. There's the difference. Make your choice.

Harry Moseley
2000-2011
Rest In Peace

Friday, October 07, 2011

I talk to snakes too.

So far I've spent my Friday looking stupid on the bus, eating granola bars, watching Friends and attempting to make toothbrush bracelets. My first one didn't go brilliantly; I think I need to heat them for longer or something, because these ones are quite thick around the middle which makes them difficult to bend. Ugh, technicalities. I'll keep you posted on my toothbrush bracelet-making progress - I can feel your excitement from here.

A week from today, I'm going home for the weekend, and I couldn't be more excited. I've never felt less like myself or further away from my normal life as I do here, and it'll be nice to have a couple of days of reassurance that it's all still there, waiting for me.

I was going to talk today about a variety of things I turn to when I get homesick/bored/etc., but then I started writing the paragraphs below about YouTube, and couldn't seem to condense my video-love into being just one part of a list, so today I'm just going to go on and on and on about YouTube and how it has inspired me so massively. Deep breath, go.

I started off just watching random videos, generally Wizard Rock songs and the odd comedy vlog channel like Jenna Marbles. Through Wrock I found the Parselmouths, and through their band channel I found Kristina Horner (italktosnakes), lead singer of the Parselmouths and my biggest inspiration to date. I'm in complete admiration of how Kristina has created a career doing what she loves: writing songs and making videos. I then found fiveawesomegirls, Kristina's collaborative channel, and through them I found the Vlogbrothers and effectively discovered that this was me, this was what I wanted to do as well. I've changed so much as a person since these little YouTube discoveries; I have more focus in my life and I work every day to improve my creative skills - editing videos, planning out novels and songwriting. Kristina has given me goals of my own: to eventually start my own Wrock band, to travel, to attend LeakyCon and VidCon and to hopefully write a really good novel. But most of all, and just by doing what she does best, Kristina has convinced me that I can do what I want to do, and stay true to myself along the way.

I've started forging my own little YouTube career; on my personal channel KAPOWWkate, and also on my collaborative channel, The FOUReignDames, where I, like Kristina did for 5AG, post a video every Monday. It's so much fun, and I feel like this is something incredibly important. The fact that I am building connections with three girls I've never met from all over the world is something I am very proud of, and so excited about.

If it weren't for finding 5AG on YouTube, I would never have found Nerdfighteria, and all the amazingness that comes with it - in effect, I wouldn't be the person I am today. In her blog, Kristina once said that it isn't possible to 'find' yourself; that you have to make yourself. And the YouTube community is providing me with the tools to do that.

Thank you, Kristina Horner, for everything.

Lessthanthree.

Thursday, October 06, 2011

Change (your socks every day).

Life is a funny old business.
At the moment, mine is completely different to what it's been for the past 18 years, and this massive change has given me reason to think about that.

From what I've gathered, as children, we take our carefree existence for granted; as teenagers, we can't wait to get out there and start being independent, and escape stuff like our mothers nagging us about how a plate of baked beans for dinner every day is not acceptable, and nor is throwing the freshly laundered pile of clothes we were just handed into the rubble at the bottom of our wardrobes. And then one day, we pack up our possessions and head off somewhere new. And that night, in our lonely new beds, we wonder why we ever left.

In my worst moods here, I find myself wishing I could go home, shut the front door on the rest of the world and never venture out again. At times like these, I find it hard to accept that now is the time for me to start looking after myself. It seems incredibly unfair that I'm not able to stay at home all day, reading Harry Potter, play-fighting with my dad and watching the Great British Bake-Off with my mum.

It frustrates me how change disturbs me so much. I can't handle it at all. And yet without change, there'd be no point to anything. Nothing would ever have happened. Life is change.

At my age, this is the time where everything changes. In a way, it comforts me, knowing that although none of my friends moved abroad like I did, they're all going through drastic changes as well. For some of them, the distance issue is just as great as it is for me. For others, they may be closer to home but finding themselves lonelier than usual - not seeing their old friends every day. It's difficult, but exciting all the same.

As for me, I'm looking forward to striking a balance between home comforts and independence when I start University in my home county, Yorkshire, next September. And thankfully, this time I'm spending away from home right now will prepare me for what's coming, and I should be able to face that with no issues after facing something like this.

So I suppose I'm saying what everybody always says. Change is difficult, but necessary, and useful in many ways. How very grown up and philosophical of me. But what I wouldn't give to be sat at home, with my Mum and Dad, like we used to.

*

And from the sublime to the ridiculous, according to my Spam inbox, I've just won $1,500,000.00 for the second time this month. I can finally afford my unicorn! ^^

Lessthanthree.

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

I have a crush on cyberspace.

Well sort of.
So as I've infiltrated most of the other major internet portals, I felt it was time to begin a blog. A proper, write-about-stuffz blog. Because I like writing about stuffz.

I'm going to try and keep this a daily thing as well. Not STRICTLY daily - you aren't allowed to send letterbombs if I skip a couple; it's... er... loosely daily. Just to give myself a bit of wiggle room. Because we all like wiggling. I've won trophies for wiggling. Actually not joking. Happyways dancing classes when I was about three. Wiggler of the Week. That's right.

ANYWAY.

I wanted to do this for various reasons. Writing is slowly becoming a very important part of my life. With a few ideas for novels floating around in my nog, I need to get back into the practice of typing prose regularly - since leaving college, I've been incredibly lax in that department, with my typing strictly limited to Facebook statuses - "I feel uncomfortable with the fact that I'm comfortable doing laundry now. It's like a false sense of security before something bad happens and my knickers all turn orange and start exploding" - Tweets - "Window's open, room's cold, I'm too toasty in bed to get out and shut it, therefore I'm sort of half toasty, half freezing.  - and YouTube video descriptions - "SUBSCRIBE FOR FREE HUGS." Not exactly the height of writing sophistication. Ha. As if this will be, either.

And as you can see from what I've just shown you, the internet is becoming a mahoosive part of my life. It has brought me a whole new dimension of friends and laughs, and I feel incredibly lucky to be a part of today's generation. I have a personal YouTube channel that I'm having a lot of fun with, and have a few ideas for. I'm part of a collaborative channel with three amazing girls from all over the world. I'm proud to be a part of various internet communities, such as YouTube obviously, but also the Nerdfighters, where again I have met some incredible people, and Team Starkid, which just makes my life better every day just by being there and being awesome - ahem - supermegafoxyawesomehot.

I never used to understand the fascination some people had with the internet. From what I could see, it was just people trying to be 'scene' on MySpace, various confusing games that I suck at because of my crap hand-eye co-ordination, and Google. I never realised the scope for finding out about yourself, making friends with amazing people and pushing your creativity to the limits. I'm so thankful that I've found it now, just when I need it so desperately. I'm away from home, in another country, missing my family and friends and feeling rather lonely. Except for the internet, the one constant thing in my life. It gives me a vital connection to friends and family, and a vast range of choices of things to do when I'm at my most homesick. It also helps expand my other interests - aside from welcoming me into the Harry Potter community (first Potter reference, WOOT), it's introduced me to a whole world of books, music, writing and charity projects that I would have struggled to discover otherwise.

So fankz, internet. You're awesome.
Now I'm going to wrap up the proper writing and go back to 140-character musings for the rest of my evening. See you tomorrow.

Lessthanthree.